What Are Your Options to Settle Child Custody?
Resolving your family’s custody and visitation schedule doesn’t have to be a battle. North Carolina law allows for several options to settle child custody without a trial before a judge. These alternative dispute resolution options give parents more control over their future and make it easier to co-parent after the matter is resolved.
Why You Should Settle Child Custody
In most cases, settling your family’s child custody dispute is in everybody’s best interest. No one knows your family as well as you do – not the judge, or your attorneys. While your family lawyer advocate for your child’s best interests in any custody trial, judges’ orders may often include provisions that are simply impractical for your family, such as:
- Visitation exchanges that fall during work hours
- Holiday schedules that don’t match your family’s traditions
- Unresolved transportation issues
- Alternating schedules that separate step- or half-siblings
By working with your attorney and your former spouse or partner to settle child custody and visitation, you can resolve all these questions in a way that benefits your whole family and accounts for all the details of your households.
Settlement Makes Co-Parenting Easier
Settling child custody disputes also removes some of the “us vs them” mentality from your dealings with your co-parent. When you work with the other parent in coming to a resolution, there is not the feeling that someone ‘won’ and the other parent ‘lost,’ which can often happen when you go to court to litigate. Sharing custody of a child means a lifetime of working with another adult over everything from T-ball practice to future wedding arrangements. Doing the hard emotional work to settle child custody disputes out of court puts you both on the same side – your children’s side – and makes it easier to resolve future disputes that can and will arise.
When Settlement Isn’t the Best Choice
However, while most cases settle, some families are better served by taking their child custody case to trial. You may not want to settle your child custody case if:
- You have experienced domestic violence
- You are seeking protective orders
- Your case includes new or difficult legal issues
- Your co-parent has substance abuse issues
- Your co-parent has unreasonable demands
You shouldn’t feel pressured to settle if the proposed visitation schedule doesn’t feel right for you or your children. However, even in some of the above cases, considering your options can help resolve some child-related issues like child support or legal custody, conserving your resources for the most disputed issues.
Options to Settle Child Custody
Sometimes people find it hard to settle because they don’t understand their options when negotiating child custody and visitation settlements. You may assume that you have to use a “standard” visitation schedule – like alternating weekends, or a “week-on, week-off” schedule. The truth is you and your partner can customize your visitation schedule as much as you want.
However, a stable and predictable schedule will help your children understand when they will be with which parent. This can avoid disappointment and frustration that can come when a child makes a playdate or signs up for an after-school activity that they can’t attend because they forgot they would be with the other parent that day.
Alternative Dispute Resolution Options in North Carolina
You can begin working with your attorney to settle child custody issues at any time. Some unmarried families never file a motion in court, relying instead on a child custody settlement agreement. However, when child custody is part of a North Carolina divorce action, or when an informal agreement isn’t enough, you can still use alternative dispute resolution (ADR) techniques – such as mediation – to avoid the time, expense, and hard feelings that come with a custody trial.
Except for domestic violence cases, every family law case in North Carolina is referred to a mediation settlement conference to resolve the family’s financial issues. Mediation allows the parties to work together to find a solution, while arbitration puts the decision in the hands of a privately retained arbitrator, who may have special training relevant to your family’s needs. Talk to your family law attorney about your ADR options to settle child custody based on the details of your case.
At the Cox Law Firm, our experienced and compassionate family law attorneys know how to settle child custody cases and avoid the drawbacks of going to trial. We will help you negotiate clear child custody and visitation schedules, taking advantage of a variety of ADR options to help you resolve your child custody disputes. We also provide mediation services for parties who are represented by attorneys and for individuals who are representing themselves. Melanie D. Cox is a North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission Certified Family Financial Mediator and trained to mediate custody and financial issues. If you are ready to get started, please get in touch with the Cox Law Firm by calling 704-243-9693 or visiting our Contact Page.