5 Common Legal Custody Disputes and What to Do About Them
When co-parents can’t agree on how to raise their children, it can create legal custody disputes that can carry on for years. Knowing when to head to court and how to avoid filing a motion can save everyone in your child’s life both time and trouble.
What is Legal Custody?
There are two types of custody in North Carolina: physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody directs the “physical care of and control over” the child. One North Carolina case defined legal custody as the “right and responsibility to make decisions with important and long-term implications for a child’s best interest and welfare.” This includes the child’s:
- Health care
- Education
- Religious training
- Social interactions
Custody can be awarded jointly between the parties, or solely to only one parent. A joint legal custody order demands that parents reach an agreement about decisions that affect their children’s lives. When they can’t, the resulting legal custody dispute can be expensive and time consuming.
Common Legal Custody Disputes Between Co-Parents
Anytime parents can’t agree on an important issue in their child’s care it may create a legal custody dispute. Some common legal custody disputes include:
1. School Enrollment
Co-parents often disagree over where their children should go to school. If you can’t, be prepared to offer objective evidence about why the school you prefer is better than the alternative, not just what is most convenient for you.
2. Special Education Plans (IEPs)
Parents of children with disabilities or special needs often find themselves at odds with teachers, school administrators, and each other. To the extent possible, co-parents should work together with their children’s medical providers to advocate for an individualized education plan (IEP) that meets their child’s needs. However, if they disagree over a diagnosis or plan for their child’s education, they may file a motion in court to resolve the legal custody dispute.
3. Vaccinations and Other Medical Treatments
Recently the issue of child vaccinations has taken center stage. The CDC and the FDA have now authorized the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine for teens and kids ages 5-11. However, there is still significant resistance to the vaccine – for adults and children alike. Differing opinions about a vaccine, medication, or medical treatment can create a legal custody dispute. However, parents objecting to the vaccine on religious or philosophical grounds should be prepared – judges often rely on scientific evidence to determine what is in the best interests of the children under their jurisdiction.
4. Baptisms & Bat / Bar Mitzvahs
Taking your child to church with their grandparents occasionally won’t create a legal custody dispute. However, if you and your co-parent disagree over your child’s religious education, or if your child is coming of age and ready to join the church, synagogue, or other religious community, that might. You should coordinate with your coparent to make sure everyone is involved in these big milestone events, especially when the issue is so personal to the child.
5. Extracurricular Activities
North Carolina also includes social interactions among the list of legal custody disputes. This includes disagreements over a child’s extracurricular activities. The cost and time involved in these activities can make it hard for a parent with secondary custody to put their child’s social calendar before their own wishes. However, you should always honor your child’s best interests.
What Doesn’t Count as a Legal Custody Issue
Not every decision about your child’s day-to-day activities rises to the level of a legal custody dispute. Whoever is the custodial parent in the moment will generally have authority over:
- Over the counter medications
- Childcare providers
- Diet and nutrition
- Screen time
- Homework
However, if everyday decisions add up to a problem for the child – such as repeatedly missing homework or a bad diet causing dental issues – they could become significant enough to file a motion.
What to Do About Legal Custody Disputes
The North Carolina courts encourage co-parents to resolve their legal custody disputes outside the courtroom. Mediation, co-parenting coaching, and even therapy are all options to facilitate the discussion. However, when you reach an impasse, either parent may file a motion to modify the existing child custody order. Each parent will have an opportunity to present their position and the evidence that supports it. Then the court will issue an order based on the best interests of the child.
Joint legal custody issues are often time sensitive. It is important that you work quickly to resolve your dispute or file your motion in court. At the Cox Law Firm, our experienced and compassionate family law attorneys know how to resolve legal custody disputes. We can help you negotiate with your co-parent, file a motion in court, and advocate for your child’s best interests. Melanie D. Cox is also a North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission Certified Family Financial Mediator and trained to mediate custody and financial issues. If you are ready to get started, please get in touch with the Cox Law Firm by calling 704-243-9693 or visiting our Contact Page.