How does COVID-19 Impact my Custody Schedule?
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How does COVID-19 Impact my Custody Schedule?

by in COVID-19, CUSTODY

While many contracts for the sale of goods or services include provisions or exclusions about epidemics and pandemics, I have yet to see a custody order or agreement even contemplate or guide parents on how to navigate the complexities surrounding COVID-19.  We are in unchartered territory for family law attorneys and judges alike.  There is no caselaw to guide us on how Judges may rule in these unique times.  First and foremost, your health and safety and that of your child(ren) is of the upmost importance.

As family law attorneys we cannot advise you to not follow a court order.  Particularly, if and your ex do not have a good co-parenting relationship, using COVID-19 as a tool against the other parent as a reason to not to follow the custody schedule and prevent visitation will likely be frowned upon by a Judge and you could possibly be held in contempt of court for not obeying the court order.  However, if there are extreme situations where the health of the child is at risk – i.e., if you have been exercising custody and the other parent has tested positive for COVID-19 or has been in contact with someone who has tested positive and is now in quarantine, it would make sense to deny visitation during the two week period.  The best solution would be to work together to allow for the time to be made up when it is safe and healthy to do so.  Discuss your concerns with the other parent and do your best to come up with a solution together that is best for the health, safety and welfare of the children.  The March 26, 2020, “Stay- at- Home” order issued by Mecklenburg County and the local municipalities, specifically allows parents to leave home to transport children for visitation.

Below are some tips and guidelines released from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) and AFCC  for coparenting during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Seven Guidelines for Parents Who Are Divorce/Separated and Sharing Custody of Children During the COVID19 Pandemic

  1. BE HEALTHY.

Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.

  1. BE MINDFUL.

Be honest about the seriousness of the pandemic but maintain a calm attitude and convey to your children your belief that everything will return to normal in time. Avoid making careless comments in front of the children and exposing them to endless media coverage intended for adults. Don’t leave the news on 24/7, for instance. But, at the same time, encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns and answer them truthfully at a level that is age-appropriate.

  1. BE COMPLIANT with court orders and custody agreements.

As much as possible, try to avoid reinventing the wheel despite the unusual circumstances. The custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over the details of timesharing. In some jurisdictions there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session.

  1. BE CREATIVE.

At the same time, it would be foolish to expect that nothing will change when people are being advised not to fly and vacation attractions such as amusement parks, museums and entertainment venues are closing all over the US and the world. In addition, some parents will have to work extra hours to help deal with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or working reduced hours for a time. Plans will inevitably have to change. Encourage closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, games and FaceTime or Skype.

  1. BE TRANSPARENT.

Provide honest information to your co-parent about any suspected or confirmed exposure to the virus, and try to agree on what steps each of you will take to protect the child from exposure. Certainly both parents should be informed at once if the child is exhibiting any possible symptoms of the virus.

  1. BE GENEROUS.

Try to provide makeup time to the parent who missed out, if at all possible. Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take seriously concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in highly unusual circumstances.

  1. BE UNDERSTANDING.

There is no doubt that the pandemic will pose an economic hardship and lead to lost earnings for many, many parents, both those who are paying child support and those who are receiving child support. The parent who is paying should try to provide something, even if it can’t be the full amount. The parent who is receiving payments should try to be accommodating under these challenging and temporary circumstances.

Adversity can become an opportunity for parents to come together and focus on what is best for the child. For many children, the strange days of the pandemic will leave vivid memories. It’s important for every child to know and remember that both parents did everything they could to explain what was happening and to keep their child safe.

From the leaders of groups that deal with families in crisis:

Susan Myres, President of American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) Dr. Matt Sullivan, President of Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) Annette Burns, AAML and Former President of AFCC Yasmine Mehmet, AAML Kim Bonuomo, AAML Nancy Kellman, AAML Dr. Leslie Drozd, AFCC Dr. Robin Deutsch, AFCC Jill Pena, Executive Director of AAML Peter Salem, Executive Director of AFCC